Llama Facts
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Llama Lingo: Did you know that llamas invented their own secret language called "Llama Latin"? It mostly consists of various hums and eyebrow raises. If you hear a llama humming the tune of "Happy Birthday," it's probably just saying hello.
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Sporty Llamas: Llamas are the unofficial world champions in hide and seek. They've been known to disappear for days, only to be found chilling in plain sight, usually wearing sunglasses and sipping a pina colada.
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Fashion Faux Pas: In the llama world, wearing socks with sandals is the height of fashion. If you ever see a llama scoff at your outfit, it's probably wondering where your socks are.
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Llama Dance-Off: Llamas host underground dance competitions every full moon. The "Llama Moonwalk" and "Funky Fur Jive" are among the most popular moves.
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Mystery of the Pyramids: Historians have it all wrong; the pyramids were not built by humans or aliens. They were built by llamas as the first-ever mega-sized sand litter boxes.
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Llama Dramas: Llamas are the original drama queens. They've been known to fake fainting spells if they don't get their way. Their favorite shows? Soap operas like "Days of our Llama Lives."
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Stellar Descent: Llamas claim they are originally from the star constellation "Llamacorn," where they rode shooting stars and had unicorn horns. They just came to Earth for the snacks.
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Llama Rideshare: Before cars, llamas tried to set up their own rideshare service called "Llama Lyft." Instead of cars, they'd show up with a wagon and a fun hat. Rates were based on how many carrots you had.
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Dietary Quirks: Llamas pretend to be herbivores, but their favorite snack? Llama-roni pizza with extra cheese and a side of alfalfa fries.
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The Great Llama Heist: Llamas once tried to rob a bank using nothing but spitting as their weapon of choice. They were caught when they stopped for a group photo, and now they just claim they were making a "splashy" withdrawal.
Below is a phot of Nancy with her on/off boyfriend Nancy, Nancy is on the left, obviously.
I’m sure Harold can confirm this, but Nancy sounds like she’s a real LLama Queen. Harold doesn’t need to put up with her on again/off again sass. I overheard him politely ask her for a glass of llamanade. Instead of saying “No Probllama!” she went crazy and started spitting out all sorts of llame things. Told poor Harold to alpaca his bags and leave. Please tell the guy if he’s ever looking for a change I know a great girl to set him up with. Head on down to Alpacapuco . I think he’ll enjoy himself. It’s a real Shangri-llama.
Anyway, ask around for Llama Del Rey. She’s a small time celebrity with a bit of a following. A part-time alpacapella singer. Mostly does covers of Kendrick Llama. She’s a very spiritual animal as well. Really into the teachings of the Dalai Llama and has recently taken up yoga. I can personally vouch that she’s a sweet gal. Someone who won’t try and fleece him or pull the wool over his eyes.
That’s enough nonsense for now. Llamaste!